i have a million things to say…

i don’t know what i think of god, what i believe, that kind of thing, but i do know that if i try to spend my time being grateful, i find more things to be grateful for, and i find more of something to… be grateful to.

there’s also the way that i’ve always thought that if i went deep enough, i’d find something shining and golden and god, completely separate from and discernible from myself. i haven’t. and so i thought i’ve messed up somehow, but i asked someone i trust, and he said… that’s all there’s going to be. and that’s okay. i don’t even remember if he said that last part, that it’s okay, but i suddenly knew it was.

i can’t separate myself from god, i can’t find god, and that’s okay, and now that i know that i can’t do those things– i feel this bigger, different kind of faith.

Published in: on 19 September, 2007 at 5:21 pm  Comments (1)  

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One CommentLeave a comment

  1. 1.

    (hi. if you were wondering why the drive-by friending on livejournal, it’s because i stalked christy’s flist and remembered the conversation about patty duke we had in her lj once, and because i like this blog too. also we met a couple of times, a million years ago at new college. i’ll be surprised if you remember that, though, since we were all pretty drunk and/or preoccupied with bitch and animal at the time!)

    Comment by tmw — September 13, 2007 @ 6:49 pm

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