i have a new blog on wordpress, too. i’m really excited about it.

i’m also sort of afraid of it. i’m afraid of how i’ve left this blog alone for so long and how i really want to focus more, in general, on faith in my life. i am aware of how not too long ago i was worried about joining the quaker meeting because i was afraid i liked the people too much. now i am starting a blog about why i like all of my facebook friends, and just last night in the book published by codependents anonymous that i read each night, i read about the danger of making other people your god.

my question is, if perfect love casts out fear, what am i afraid of?

i am afraid that it’s all about me, that it has always been all about me. that god, to me, is myself reflected in other’s eyes. i’m self-aware enough to know that that is sometimes true, and in job-worry enough to let it grow to a mini-boogeyman. and i keep needing to be away from meeting, and while i don’t want to make meeting my god, i also need the connection to keep me grounded.

funny how connection can make me fly away or it can ground me. hmm….

Published in: on 12 August, 2011 at 4:57 pm  Leave a Comment  

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